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Writer's pictureC. A. Ayres

Finding yourself: Break free from these 10 masochistic behaviors



From time to time, we reevaluate our lives and the need for change to have a fuller life is urgent. We are tired of hurting ourselves or postponing the realization of some dreams due to the mishaps of the way, either because of something in our life that does not work the way we wanted or because of someone we depend on at some point.

There are stones on the path that serve as steps, but there are many others that do not help us to move on, many of these move us away from what we really want in life, foster the natural man that is in us, and who is God's enemy. To achieve dreams by living in peace with our spirit, we need to set goals and measure results. If they never get out of the "wanting" phase, they are only desires. To realize some dreams, we need to set aside and throw away some behaviors if we want to meet them.

1. Let the opinions of others control your life. It is not what others think, but what you think of yourself that counts. You need to do what is best for you and your life, not what is best for everyone. If someone say something that offend you, think deeply if that is really what you are. No one knows you better than yourself, only our Father in Heaven. The way others treat you tell you more about them than yourself.

2. The shame of past mistakes. Your past can only positively influence your future if you have learned from your mistakes, not by repeating them. If you have repented, you have learned your lesson and have improved, forgive yourself. The only thing, however, that will influence your future is how you act now. You have the power to create your path, so do it step by step, there is no rush.

3. Be undecided about what you want. You will never leave the place if you first do not decide it's time to move on. Making decisions and defining once and for all what you want and where you want to get is imperative, and going after what you want with passion is indispensable. Make a list of wants your like to do, check if they are implicit in your daily life, in all areas. If not, it’s time to seek a higher ground.

4. Procrastinate goals that will make a difference. If you know that much in your life depends on things you need to do and that, by procrastinating them, you will be parked and will not progress, definitely stop postponing your achievement! Take the courage to start now, today, what needs to change, and make a goal of doing a little of it every day until it becomes a habit. If you fail in one detail, there is no shame. You can restart right away. You are your best – and worst – judge. Be kind to yourself.

5. Being silent or choosing to leave for later what can be done now. No one can choose when to die or how, but you can decide how you're going to live, and the time is now. Each day is a new opportunity and a chance to choose and live fully. Isolation covers a lot of dark behaviors. Surround yourself with positivity and hope. You know where, or in who, to find them.

6. The suffocating need to be right. There is no doubt that everyone wants to get it right and do the right thing. But many stop trying only because of the fear of making mistakes. Allow yourself the right to err. If you do not try, you will lose your ability to learn new things and move on with your life. If you try and fail, be happy because at least you tried! No success in life was ever earned without living. Life takes risks.

7. Run from problems that need to be solved. First, stop running. Choose a problem today and stop to resolve it. Be it communication, appreciation, forgiveness, love, whatever is impeding your relationships with people from being complete. Do not let days go by without solving these problems. Love more intensely.

8. Making excuses rather than making decisions. The biggest failures come when we make excuses rather than make decisions and act accordingly. When we omit ourselves, we join those who choose nothing to do. Make small decisions today that will lead you to big transformations tomorrow, or next year. But start at some point. Time flies.

9. Fail to focus on the positive. Complaining is pessimism. Think about what it could be but it was not, either. What you see depends entirely on what you are looking for. If you do not learn to focus on the positive side of all things and learn to be grateful for the good things and people in your life, it will be almost impossible to be completely happy.

10. Do not appreciate the present moment. Be hanging in the past or afraid of the future, instead of enjoying the now and the little things that make your day to day. Life is valid for happy moments, and for the most part, most of life is made up of simple moments that are completed every day.

There are two choices in life: accept the conditions you are living now, or accept the responsibility you have to change them. As for help, you are not and there is no need to live and to be alone.

No one else can do it for ourselves.

"The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now. "- Popular Proverb.


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